Today was a bit of a landmark day. Today I sewed buttons on a sweater.

It’s not just any sweater. It was the first item I made for the baby I was expecting in 2011, due at the end of September/beginning of October. Innocent. He would be three now. Posting photos of the sweater (and matching booties) is how I announced that we were expecting baby #6. What I did not know at the time was that Innocent had already departed for heaven. I found out three days later. Coming back home from the doctor’s office to see the sweater and booties on my dresser was one of the most horrible things I experienced.

Innocent never wore the sweater. I crocheted him a tiny blanket out of the same yarn (bamboo silk) to bury him in. The sweater went into the attic with a few other little things I had collected. I hadn’t even sewn the buttons on.

I hoped the baby I was pregnant with a few months later would wear the sweater. He didn’t. The sweater stayed in the attic.

Late in my next pregnancy I dared to get some baby things out of the attic. The sweater was one of them. I still hadn’t sewn buttons on it. I was afraid to.

Today the weather turned cooler. I went through some baby clothes and got out things for Miss Moppet. I slowly pulled out the sweater and unfolded it. It looked like the right size. I tried it on her.

It fit perfectly. I didn’t cry.

I sat down to sew buttons on it, five antique buttons from my grandmother’s collection. Four were matching, one almost so.