For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him:
Therefore also I have lent him to the Lord; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the Lord.
[1 Sam 1:27-28]

Two years ago today I was lying on a table, not hearing Innocent’s heartbeat. Three long days later they told us he had died.  I was but lent him for a little while, and had to give him back. I rebelled, not surprisingly.

Several months after that I was lent another little baby…for a little while. I had to relinquish him as well after a few months. Christmas felt bleak.

Time went by. Lots of time. The wounds from the loss of the boys scarred over but still ached. We prayed.

Now, we have been lent another baby. We don’t know how long he or she will be ours to keep and love on this earth. We pray that whatever happens God will not abandon us. Please keep us in your prayers as we try to walk this road…again…with calm spirits.

(EDD 11/24/13 for the curious)

20 thoughts on “Rainbows

  1. Oh, I'm so happy and excited for you! I'll be praying for you and your little one. I've been reading your blogs since I lost a baby last August. Lost Innocents meant a lot to me. I lost another little one last month. This gives me hope.


  2. Rejoicing for you! You've been in our prayers and we'll continue praying (especially to St. Anna, St. Stylianos, and the Theotokos). Personally, I'm hoping for a little Catherine for you born a day after your EDD on the feast of the Great Martyr


  3. I have been away from the internet for a while (traveling, more traveling, family events, even more traveling) so I have just seen this. You, your family, and your newest child will be in my prayers. 🙂

    — Valja from Norway


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