Rerun: Funny Christmas Story #1

 Hi! I’m out of town for a little while and am running some of my favorite posts, especially from the early days.

Originally published 12-7-10
 
Tis the time of year to reminisce. With all of the Christmas
preparations going on, some memories of Christmases past have started to
surface. Naturally, they’re funny.

The funniest
memories have to do with the tree. There are several Christmas’s worth
of tree stories so I’ll avoid possible overdose by telling one at a
time. Seriously, they’re funny.

We were married in
August of ’97 and were able to spend a month together before we had to
separate: Father stayed in place to teach and I moved back to Georgia
for my last quarter of nursing school. I was so anxious to be back with
him that I eschewed graduation, opting to have my diploma mailed to me,
and left for Alabama three days early, right after the pinning ceremony.

I got there less than two weeks before Christmas and
naturally nothing had been done. After all, we wanted to decorate and
prepare together. The morning after I got there, while I was still in
bed, Father had a call from someone at his school asking if I were a
nurse and had graduated. Her husband was a doctor and needed someone that morning in his office to substitute. His substitute
was actually out with strep throat. I said that if they didn’t care
that I wasn’t in uniform (they were in a box somewhere) I’d come in to
help. Well, to finish out that story, the original and the replacement
never came back so I worked there for the next two years before
seminary. Easiest job search I’ve ever done.

However
nice it was to have a job, the fact remained that it was just before
Christmas and we didn’t have a lot of time to get ready. We finally
managed to go out to find a tree the week of Christmas and the pickings
were slim. I was ready to settle for a dinky one, thinking I could dress
it up (a la Charlie Brown), but Father insisted that our first tree be
nice. We then found one somewhere else for what was then an outrageous
sum. I had to admit that it was a beautiful tree. I think it was a Frasier fir (my favorite).

We
set it up in the front room. (Ok, I need to explain the house a little:
We lived in a very old house without central heat. It was built on a
shotgun shack plan for the most part and the heater was in the center of
the house.) By putting the tree in the front of the house we were
capitalizing on the fact that it was in one of the front windows and
thus visible from outside. [Note: only visible with lights on. This is
important.] On the other hand, this room was very cold. We tended
to live in about four rooms during the winter with rolled up rugs
at all the doors because we couldn’t get the rest of the house to heat
up.

So, there was the tree in all its glory. You could
see the lights from the street and it was very cozy looking. It was
anything but cozy inside and we were in coats to decorate it. The
presents, as they arrived, were put under it and we gave it one more
smile and shut the door.

On
Christmas morning, we went into the front room to open presents (we
couldn’t go to church because the roads were shut down due to an ice
storm) and the first things we opened were from my parents: two matching
fleece jackets. We immediately put them on! We had little presents for
our two cats, Lucy and Ethel but they wouldn’t come any farther into the
room than the doorway. As soon as we were done unwrapping, we
shiveringly gathered up the presents and the wrapping, unplugged the
lights, and departed the room, never to return.

You think I’m kidding?

Spring
finally came to northern Alabama (it was pretty cold that year) and one
day I was looking for a specific china serving dish. After a while, I
thought it might be in an antique dresser I had in the front room and I
dragged open the door (it was a little stuck) to look for the dish. I
stopped in surprise and forgot all about the dish.

Yep, you guessed it. There was the tree.

Still
decorated, still with lights on it (not plugged in, thank goodness). In
fact, because it had been so cold, it looked perfectly preserved, still
green. After gaping at it for a moment, I backed out and shut the door,
deciding that I didn’t want to miss Father’s expression when he saw it.
When he got home from school I walked him to the door and opened it.
Ditto the expression. We laughed pretty hard at ourselves and set about
to take the ornaments and lights off. I reached up for the first
ornament near the top of the tree. At the slight vibration, every single
needle fell off the tree and formed a perfect circle of green at its
base. Every. Single. Needle.

Well, we got everything
off and Father dragged the carcass across the street and threw it far,
far back in the woods while I swept up several pounds of needles. He
said he didn’t want the garbage men to see it.

We
never did leave the tree up that long again, but the very next year we
had another hilarious tree incident. I’ll leave that one for next time.

One thought on “Rerun: Funny Christmas Story #1

  1. Your story was *hilarious* …. and also sounded like something my husband and I might do. Before we moved to our current apartment we were in much older (and colder) places that included rooms almost too cold to venture into (at least for me). Now we live in a tiny apartment, but at least we're warm! 🙂

    — Valja in Norway

    Like

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