A kind response

At the end of May, after much time-wasting, I finally sent the letters to the hospital where I had Andrew (to the COO and the DON) and to my doctor. Here is the letter: (I edited out identifying information.)


**************************
[address edited out]
May
31, 2012
M. K., COO University Hospitals

[address edited out]

Mr.
K.,
I
was in the hospital for induction of labor December 12th
and 13th of 2011. Our baby had died at the age of 13
weeks two weeks prior and we did not want a D&C. My doctor, Dr.
C. B., approved of our request to keep our baby with us in the
hospital and take him home upon discharge. We only anticipated a
one-day stay and my husband and I did not want the baby to go to
either pathology or the morgue. This was the second baby of this age
I had lost that year but the first baby had been born at home. I was
very anxious about the hospital stay.
We
made our requests known upon admission and the staff did a marvelous
job of communicating inter-departmentally to make everything
possible. Our nurse O. H. (Labor and Delivery) called the
social worker (E.) and the morgue director and arranged
everything before the induction started. We would be able to keep our
baby with us at all times and take him home with us on discharge.
This was very confidence inspiring and comforting.
My
labor was rather difficult and included some unusual complications.
Thanks to the skills of O. and Dr. B. and the grace of God I
avoided surgery. Eight hours later our little Andrew was born and I
was the one who took him from the sac and cut the cord. He was
beautiful. The staff continued to honor our requests to the point
that O. even brought the baby scale into the room to weigh him
(all one ounce of him) so that he would not have to leave my side. We
held him, dressed him and photographed him.
I
developed further complications after delivery and it became
necessary to manually remove the remaining placenta and clots at the
bedside. Dr. R. M., who had come on duty for night shift on
L&D, assisted Dr. B. and was most compassionate. It was at this
point that the decision was made to keep us overnight and discharge
us in the morning.
It
was necessary for us to be transferred to a postpartum floor. The
nurses on L&D communicated to the staff on Postpartum our
requests and the arrangements that had been made. The postpartum
nurses were accommodating and we thought our transfer would be very
smooth. It was getting rather late in the evening, it had been a very
exhausting day, and we were tired and ready to rest for the night.
The
only hiccup in the entire stay happened at this point: the nursing
supervisor for the evening shift refused to sign the paper that would
enable us to take our baby with us to postpartum. She insisted he
must go to the morgue. [I should note that by this time we had our
baby in a container of saline, that container being placed in a
larger one full of ice.] We informed the staff that rather than
release our baby we would depart for home. After multiple phone calls
were made by the doctors and the morgue supervisor was awakened at
23:30 by the nursing supervisor, the original agreement was honored
and all three of us were moved to Postpartum at 00:30. Dr. M.
would have been happy to keep us on the L&D floor overnight if
the nursing supervisor had refused to yield but in the end this
proved unnecessary.
Our
stay on Postpartum was uneventful and we were discharged late the
next morning.
I
wish I could remember the names of all of the staff who worked with
us because they were without exception gracious, kind, compassionate
and skilled. Being admitted into the hospital two weeks before
Christmas to deliver our departed baby was a terrible thing, but the
staff kept it from being a horrible experience. Although I have been
at home with our living children for the past two years, prior to
that I was a nurse for thirteen years, working the last several years
on the gynecology floor and the gynecology clinic at University
Hospital in Birmingham. Having spent the last many years caring for
women in similar circumstances to mine, I was impressed by the
interdepartmental communication, the skill and the compassion of the
staff at University Hospital.
Sincerely,
[signed]
cc:
Dr. C. B., M.D.
C. R.
**************************
I did not expect a response to this letter, just hoped that it would help reinforce the positive things that the staff had done for us. I also wanted to make sure that the particular staff received commendation for their work. Yesterday, I got a letter in the mail: (I scanned it and edited out identifying information.)
(click to enlarge)
 I thought it was so nice of him to write me back and not use a form letter. This letter has been put in Andrew’s memory box. Maybe some other families will have an easier time because of this.

5 thoughts on “A kind response

  1. What a gracious, kind reply. I have been impressed many times with the kindness and compassion we have received in hospitals, and am glad to see that you also received good care. It's beautiful to see how certain nurses and doctors might shield you from others who aren't cooperating or understanding. In some ways, I love the hospital experience because of that sweetness and emotional investment. There are a lot of good people there. 🙂 I hope that your experience of writing that letter was like mine in similar circumstances – it feels good, healing and right, to write a letter of gratitude like that. May God bless you and keep you!

    Like

  2. Honestly, it was nice to (1) get such nice treatment to start with and (2) get such a gracious letter. I'm not tooting my own horn but I did try to take care of my patients the way I would take care of my own family and did a lot of things over the years that people never saw or knew about. It's almost as if some of that came home to roost.

    Like

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