The answers to all of life’s burning questions…

It’s currently 98 degrees and sunny. Hanging one load on the line in the sun just about gave me heatstroke so I’ve retreated to the airconditioned indoors for a while. I’ve been going through old magazines, ripping out recipes, craft ideas, etc., and throwing the magazine out. I save way too much stuff. I’ll sort everything into a notebook when I’m done.

For a break I’m playing a Google guessing game. Type (for those of you with autosuggest) something in your search box and see what is suggested. Scary and funny. I followed the “who – what – when – where – why” formula and added “how” and “if”. Then Father and I just started asking the first parts of questions. It seems that there are many people who view Google as a Higher Power.

Is it possible…
…to be pregnant and not know it?
…to be allergic to water? (LOL)
…to get rid of cellulite? (no)
…to read minds?
(most of the rest had to do with pregnancy)

How to…
…tie a tie?
…jailbreak iphone 4?
…make hair bows?
…hard boil eggs? (I can’t say anything here; I’ve had to look up how to bake a potato…)
…grow weed? (answer: very surreptitiously)

What if…
…I am a black woman? (What reason could someone possibly have to ask this?)
… God was one of us?
…there was no Google? (The sky is falling!)
…I’m right lyrics.

Who is…
…a in pretty little liars?
…amber cole? (no clue here…)
…lil wayne engaged to?
…kony?
…left on American Idol?

Why…
…is the sky blue?
…do men cheat? (sounds like someone is bitter)
…are black people lazy? (Ouch!! Please remember that this does not represent the views of the blogger.)
…was the civil war fought?
…did I get married? (possibly asked by the same person as above)

Where are my…
…taxes?
…google contacts?
…favorites?
…contacts in gmail?
…keys? (I wonder if they found them…)
…kidneys?
…lymph nodes?
…glasses? (same as above)

What should I do if…
…my dog eats chocolate? (oops…)
…I win the lottery? (daydreaming at work about telling off the boss)
…my email is hacked?

…I have a concussion?
…my iphone freezes?
…my dog has diarrhea? (wonder if the chocolate had anything to do with it)
…I have food poisoning? (You and the dog are in competition now.)
…I lost my iphone? (It’s ok, it was frozen anyway.)

When should…
…I take creatine?
…I feel baby move?
…a baby roll over?
…I take my synthroid?
…a baby sit up?
(The rest were all on the same lines. Someone needs a pharmacist and someone else needs a parenting book.)

Why did my…
…facebook change to timeline?
…toenail fall off?
…period come early?
…golfish die?
…cake sink in the middle?
…cheesecake crack?
(I like to picture someone ranking all of these equally.)

Can you smoke… [This was one of Father’s suggestions, just fyi, and he’s never smoked anything.]
…shrooms?
…weed out of a hookah?
…catnip? (Whoa! Someone’s desperate!)
…adderal?
…tea?
…stems?
…weed while pregnant? (Um, no.)

Is it…
…down? (huh?)
…a sin to get a tattoo?
…safe to travel to Mexico?
…bad to swallow gum?
…bad to crack your neck?
…going to rain today? (I can think of better ways to get your forecast than by googling that…)

Why can’t I…
…get pregnant? (Questions about pregnancy rank very high in general.)
…lose weight?
…sleep? (Question asked at 3 AM…)
…stop eating?
…own a Canadian? (What on earth…?)
…look people in the eye?
…get a job? (Because you can’t look people in the eye.)
…get a girlfriend? (Because you don’t have a job.)

Your blog is…
…my favorite. (smile)
…amazing. (blush)
…not indexed by Google. (hmmm…)
…money. (Nope.)
…algebraic.

Well, maybe that last one describes it. (:

Other interesting questions: (Trust me…try them!)
How do I convince…
Is it legal to…
How should I…
How do I get…
Can you taste…
How to fix…
It’s better to…

 

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