Grocery Store Soap Box

I have a few things I’d like to get off my chest. So, stepping up on the soap box:

 1. Hot dogs are not meat and American “cheese” is not cheese. Both are processed stuff that’s leftover from making other stuff.

2. Curlers are not an acceptable accessory to any outfit except a robe and slippers. And none of the three should be worn at the grocery store.

3. Having been forced to view what other people consider church clothes, I can now see why they don’t seem to sell slips any more. I’ve never seen slips short enough to avoid a “your slip is showing” with those clothes. Merciful heavens. The dresses and skirts in our house must pass the metanoia test. [And this is completely off topic, but does anyone know a good, inexpensive source for girls’ slips? They don’t sell them locally.]

4. Ok, this is a bit neurotic* (like you haven’t already figured that out yet), but when I very carefully place the large, heavy items on the belt at the checkout first, then cans, then boxes, then other dense objects, then lighter objects, refrigerated things together, frozen things together, etc., why does the checker or bagger decide to just reach out and grab a random item and put it in a bag on top of another random item? I made it easy for them. Hello? Bread is not happy with bananas sitting on top of it. And those bags of heavy, indestructible cans go on the bottom of the cart and the lighter things go on top of those bags.


 (portion about proper bagging is 1:04 to 1:58)

5. When you sell some product in a dispenser-type container (even if it’s a plastic box) and you also sell the same item in “refill” bags, you should not price them such that the refill bags cost more per ounce (or whatever the appropriate unit is) than the original container. I will continue to buy the original container and I will grind my teeth. [It’s even more insulting when the price-per-unit is right on the price label so you don’t even have to do the mental arithmetic.]

6. When you bought 10 of something, wouldn’t you think the most efficient way to ring it up is to scan one, rapidly count the total number of items, then hit “x 10” on the register? Instead of ringing up every. Single. Item.

Sigh. I guess that’s all for now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Whew!

*Hey! I found someone as neurotic as I am!

11 thoughts on “Grocery Store Soap Box

  1. What kills me is when I have lined up the groceries perfectly, and they have even bagged them right, they still somehow end up putting bags of heavy stuff (which came down the belt first) on top of, say, tomatoes. Aagh.

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  2. I seem to end up loading my own bags into the cart at least half the time! However, I'm so glad to know somebody else “organizes” the groceries like I do. At least all the cold stuff has to go together; I also try to always put the bread and eggs on very last.
    And I am *so* with Father on the hotdog thing, and *so* with you on “American Cheese” – shudder.

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  3. My first job was a bagger (ahem, “Courtesy Clerk”) at Safeway my senior year of high school.

    I still remember our bagging instruction sessions and how fast we could bag stuff. To this day, I prefer to bag my own things and use self-checkouts when I can. (Let's face it, I cashier at Ikea and I scan/bag faster than most people currently working in grocery stores.)

    I personally hate wearing skirts and dresses. And certainly wearing slips. They didn't make any sense as a kid so I haven't worn one since school.

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  4. Oh, this is fantastic. I am so happy there exists a kindred soul who also stacks groceries categorically onto the conveyor belt! (And what does it mean that I heartily enjoyed that instructional video??) Where we live now, pretty much all the stores automatically give you plastic bags, and the packing technique can vary quite a bit…one particularly awesome checker put rubber bands around delicate packages like egg cartons and berry baskets. I was so impressed. 😀 I usually end up stacking the bags in my cart according to weight, and tying them all shut so they don't roll about in the back of the car, thereby letting random items play hide-and-seek under the seats. (Now how about a post regarding the proper way to load a dishwasher?)

    Hmm, I hadn't thought about girls' slips…most of my girls' dresses/skirts are made of thicker fabric or are layered, and when it's cold they wear pants or leggings underneath anyhow. I have found some nice, inexpensive (women's) slips at Target, though…maybe one of the extra-small sizes would fit an older girl, or maybe you could alter one to fit instead.

    And hey, have you seen the hot dogs that already have the american cheese inside? I got to try one awhile back…not my first choice, but it was pretty decent. 😀

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  5. Thanks Juliana! Those are some very pretty slips.

    Maria, I usually have things like tomatoes at the tail end of the line so there is no more room in the bottom of the car. Nevertheless…it still happens.

    LV, I prefer to load my own bags in the cart (like at Walmart) but when I go to Kroger they insist on doing it for me while I slowly die inside.

    Ausmerican, I would like to bag my own too, but I usually have so many items buying for seven people that the checker is faster for checking. I can usually do some rearranging as I put bags in the cart though. I pretty much wear dresses or skirts all the time and I have enough slips, but the girls (who always wear them to church if nowhere else) don't.

    Mrs. Bear, I could very easily do a post on the dishwasher. I'm neurotic there too. (: Living in the climate we do our dresses/skirts tend to be thin during the summer months (April through October). For instance, it's already 97 today with a heat index of 105 and it's only 11 AM. That means that slips are essential to avoid immodesty. I prefer cotton slips for the children because they're cooler. I just can't find them!! I'm going to have to break down and get a pattern and make them (horrors!). They already have two of my old slips that I cut down for them.

    YUCK! on the cheese dogs (and yes, I've seen them. (c:

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  6. I have to share my personal grocery store soap box here. Why do they insist on placing magazines in the checkout aisle that are totally inappropriate for young children? I don't want my children to be exposed to racy/explicit words and photos. Why should I be forced to deal with this situation simply in order to pay for my groceries? I would love to see stores have some sort of “family friendly” checkout aisle without these items right at the eye level of young ones.

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  7. Ooh yes! I hate the magazines too!! When I take my children with me I'm usually playing the “let's look at X over there!” game. I have even been known to put things in front of them or turn them around. Some stores have the covers for them. My beef is, if you have to cover it up, why on earth are you selling it?? Frankly, I have to remember to stare at something else and say the Jesus prayer or I'm staring at them too, mostly out of boredom or fascination (that anything could be so horrible.)

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