Something pretty

I so badly want this baby to have something pretty. I feel like I did the best I could for Innocent under the circumstances. I was so worried about having an intact body (and not having to go through surgery) that I didn’t do all I could for him. I don’t really feel guilt; like I said, I did the best I could. But there were many times I thought “next time I would do this” even while acknowledging that assuming I would lose another child was rather morbid. I guess you could say I’m benefiting from experience.

I had assumed that babies this small were impossible to dress so I didn’t attempt to make anything for Innocent. Afterward, I was hurt that I had to lay him in his grave “undressed”. I’ve thought about it since and looked at his pictures many times. I decided that I would at least make the attempt to dress this baby.

The flannel gown opens in back and the sleeves are short and wide enough so that I shouldn’t damage her arms trying to get them in. The bonnet is fairly simple. I was afraid to try to make a stocking-type cap because the size would have to really be right and I didn’t want to damage her head.

I’ll take these to the hospital and dress her after she’s born. Everything is white, like a baptismal gown, so if this is a boy it will be fine.

I took the pictures on some of the flannel I’m going to use to make a little blanket.

It really helps to be able to do something for my baby.

18 thoughts on “Something pretty

  1. Matushka, they are exquisite. It is heartbreaking to think that you learned to do this from experience, yet very sweet that this tiny person will, for her brief moment in the flesh, be treated with such loving-tenderness. Again, praying for good strength for you.


  2. Simply beautiful – the garments, and the love behind them. Your strength is inspiring and humbling.

    Your children — all 7 of them — are blessed to have you, Matushka.

    (another) Elizabeth


  3. Matushka, you remain in my prayers and I am so,so sorry to hear of your loss.

    This child, like Innocent and like all of your children, has been loved and mothered by you so well. What a blessing you are to this child! This baby has been loved by a wonderful mother and by all of your family, and by all of us reading your beautiful blog.

    In Heaven we will hold all of our babies.

    Memory eternal. Much love to you, and prayers, prayers, prayers.


  4. Beautiful. I felt the same way, like it helped so much to do something tangible. We didn't have a body, but I pieced a quilt top in honor of my babies. I never even finished the quilt, but it was healing for me to work on it while I did.
    I think doing something like this helps us to affirm that our babies are precious and loved and real. I spent a few precious hours with a dear friend and her baby who died at 17 weeks last year. I sewed a tiny blanket to take to wrap him in, and even as a friend, I was so glad to get to do something to honor him.


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