Are YOU prepared?

Father happened upon this book on Amazon last night and we laughed hysterically at some of the text (it has the “Look Inside!” option). As most of you have figured out by now, I’m a fan of the “absurd, but presented seriously” humor. [Examples: Cat fight, Clergy field guide, Weather forecast, Bad poetry] 
Here’s a tiny excerpt from the Introduction:
Keep reading if you want to live.
Call them what you want. Garden gnomes. Lawn ornaments. Little evil outdoor statuary hell-bent on world domination. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that, right now, they’re hiding in plain sight, pretending to be signs of merriment and good will. But secretly, quietly, while pushing diminutive wheelbarrows and brandishing miniature flower-pots, they’re planning home invasions all over the world. Perhaps they’re in your backyard right now – and you’re staring at one while reading this. (Wait a moment – does that gnome look a little closer to the patio door than yesterday?)
Father is now considering getting a garden gnome. I wonder if I should be worried…

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