Tomorrow’s forecast: 100% chance of weather

Overly sensitive dopper radar: “I think we have a tornado…? No… wait…I think I’m getting a false positive from the ceiling fan over the baby’s vaporizer…”

Alternative to storm-chasing tours: “Gentle Showers Tours: Our goal is to find a rain shower, carefully get in front of it, and set up an umbrella. For every shower you intercept successfully we offer a little black rain cloud sticker for your vehicle.”

Sure-fire ways to make it rain:

  • Water the plants. Getting bitten by ants and mosquitoes in the process ensures heavier rain.
  • Wash the cars. An oldie, but goodie.
  • Plan to grill out. Make sure you have no back-up plans.
  • Invite multiple kids to a birthday party – more than you can comfortably house indoors.
  • Run out to the grocery store without an umbrella. Park at the far edge of the parking lot.
  • Have your kids leave the car windows down (or the van door open).
  • Announce you are going to cut the grass. This only works if you change into old clothes, get all your equipment out, run out to get more gas and then gas up the mower.
  • Order a fragile package, leave town and make sure the screen door to your porch is locked.
  • Plan a church picnic.
  • Paint the porch furniture, putting everything out on the lawn to dry. 

One thought on “Tomorrow’s forecast: 100% chance of weather

  1. Many many years ago, I worked at Disneyland. One of the most boring jobs in the park was to do guest control for the Pocahontas show at the Fantasyland Theater. Being in the theater is fun because you can see the show… but working the queue stinks cuz all you do is stand around and help people stand in line.

    What does this have to do with weather?

    Well, one day, the clouds hung low in the sky. We could feel the imminence of the rain. If it rained, we could go home cuz there would be no show. So, in the “Spirit of Pocahontas” (the name of the show), my fellow cast members and I started doing a rain dance and singing songs from the show. It was pretty funny… and low and behold, it rained and we went home!

    So there's another way to make it rain: work at Disneyland for a crappy show and do a rain dance in the hopes that you'll get rained out!

    (This story, while true, was told in jest 🙂


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