"There’s a hole in this cake!"*

I had some fool idea that I would make a bundt cake for Duchess’s birthday party instead of a regular layer cake. (We had her party this evening as it’s the last day before the fast.) Have I ever made a bundt cake that turned out? No. I can’t ever get the blame thing to come out of the pan in one piece.

Well, this evening was no different. Flopsy was hanging over the counter watching my futile efforts. When I finally felt the weight shift, I moved the pan to find that a significant amount of cake was still up in the pan. I looked at it for a moment and Flopsy said, “I’m sure this has happened to lots of people before.” What a sweetheart.

Well, usually I can correct errors with mortar frosting (which is why I always buy TWO cans) but I had some doubts. To get the correct shape I was going to wind up putting us all into a sugar-induced coma. I started putting frosting on gingerly. There was no way I wasn’t going to have some crumbs mixed in so I pretended not to see them. I figured I’d put flowers over the worst spots. (Boy, this cake is sounding better and better, isn’t it?) After I put the white layer on I set it aside so I could fix dinner. I was going to decorate it afterwards.

Father came in the kitchen and expressed some surprise that I’d made a bundt cake. I shared what had happened. I told him that the phrase that came to mind as I was icing was “Well, you win some and you lose some.” More appropriately would have been, “You win some and some they just pull the blanket over your head.” He said that my cake would have needed a closed casket. Then he proposed a bakery to that end. Here’s the imagined conversation:

Customer: “Is my cake ready?”
Baker: “Um. Maybe you should just come to the bakery.”
Customer: “What’s wrong? Is it ready?”
Baker: “Ma’am, I think you need to come down here. Is there anyone who can drive you?”
Customer: “No, and I can’t come right now. Tell me what’s wrong!”
Baker: “Well, we did all we could, frosting infusions, toothpick splints, even an entire layer transplant. But…”
Customer: “You mean…”
Baker: “I’m sorry. We lost the cake.”
Customer: “Noooo!!!!”
Baker: “And you’re going to want a closed casket.”

(Pictures of the resurrected disaster to follow later.)

*From My Big Fat Greek Wedding

11 thoughts on “"There’s a hole in this cake!"*

  1. that is too funny! do you butter the bunt can before putting the mix in?

    When I use my old battered bunt cake pan I think I always grease it good w. butter and then, after it cools a bit, gently encourage it to get out with some stragic knife action – you know – gently pushing against the cake to seperate it from the pan…

    I would love to see pictures of this cake you made 🙂 I remember once when I was making frosting (was younger at the time and at my parents house) and I accidently used flour instead of powdered sugar and was not sure why my frosting was crumbling up so badly… in walks my very beloved then about 12 year old sister and she asks why I am using chopped nuts (i.e. my frosting epic fail) for my already made cupcakes! oh how hard I took this back then! what was worse is that we had no more cocoa or something and so my cupcakes were left naked; I was so devestated at not having proper cup cakes! 🙂 Now it's just funny…

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  2. When I made Teddy's watermelon cake for his first birthday, I made sure to test it beforehand, and I'm glad I did. I had no idea that it was necessary to grease *and* flour the pan. I have not yet found my bundt pan, though, so I cannot help with that. I usually stick to banana bread.

    At least you have help to hide the evidence!

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  3. I remember making a nice devil's food cake with white icing. Got it all frosted. Then it slowly,gently, and for no apparent reason, split right in half.

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  4. To answer the questions:

    Yes, I greased the pan – with Crisco, not butter – and no, I didn't flour it. It's also a non-stick pan. Would silicone work better?

    LV, that's a beautiful piece of writing! I laughed heartily.

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  5. Hmmm, well if crisco is not working maybe butter will? I personally have no idea. my bunt pan was probably a no stick one but most the black is worn smooth and has lots of silver showing through… I still want to see a picture of that cake 😉

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  6. I am literally laughing out loud. Have never attempted a bundt. Don't do much baking other than individual-portion-sized things (muffins, scones, cookies…).

    No offense, but if you also made good cakes (in addition to your sewing/crocheting abilities, and your 5 homeschooled kids, and whatever other fabulous talents you possess) I might just have to hate you. 😉

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  7. Patty, if you skyped me right now you'd see a woman with uncombed hair slumped in a chair, wearing pjs, circles under the eyes, who fed her well children pop tarts for breakfast and has them watching “Cars” on DVD. Who has no intention of doing anything other than keeping people well today. Who keeps yelling alternately “Wash your hands!” and “Don't touch your face!”

    Haven't you read the post about the muffin experiment? I think that my family can corroborate that I am NOT a good cook! (c;

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  8. I was just poking fun. If you Skyped ME right now, you'd see a similarly clad Mom, with a baby napping in her sling, and the older ones running amok. Call it “resting” from the weekend's illness if you like.

    Really, I am just jealous of your crafting abilities. I begin to panic at the thought of anything crafty outside of a needle in my hand sewing on a button or mending a seam with the one stitch I remember from Home Ec. 😉

    And I REALLY do think that cake looked lovely!

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  9. I knew you were joking. (c; I'm thinking through a fog – sorry I sounded grumpy.

    I'm back from the store so we're stocked up on Gatorade, gingerale, more buckets, etc. I also grabbed an ankle brace. I wish I knew something more about orthopedics…

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